Dad’s Army

Dad’s Army
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The best jokes, gags and scenes from a true British comedy classic.‘They don't like it up 'em!’'People shout the "Don't tell him, Pike!" line at me regularly - and I didn't even say it!’ Philip Madoc.In the annals of British television, no finer example of classic comedy exists than in the shape of Dad's Army, the Home Guard-based sitcom written by veteran writers Jimmy Perry and David Croft. Although they penned many other sterling programmes, including Hi-De-Hi! and the underrated You Rang, M'Lord?, they'll forever be remembered for their brilliant wartime comedy spotlighting the antics of the Walmington-on-Sea Home Guard, led by the irascible and pompous Captain Mainwaring.Between 1968 and '77, nine series and three Christmas Specials - totalling 80 instalments - were screened, much to the delight of the millions of fans who tuned in; but the show's popularity has continued unabated and even today, four decades since the platoon marched onto the scene, it remains one of the golden offerings from the sitcom genre.With the 40th anniversary of Dad’s Army in 2008, what better time to celebrate the magic of this show.The Best of British Comedy - Dad’s Army includes:• The History: an overview of how Dad’s Army was born and developed• Gags and Catchphrases: a collection of classic quotes from the programme• Did You Know?: snippets of info about the show, cast, etc.• Favourite scenes: the most memorable scenes in full• A Dad’s Army quizEpisode: 'Something Nasty in the Vault'Mainwaring and Wilson are stuck in the bank's strong room. There has been an air raid and they've ended up holding an unexploded bomb. Pike arrives.Pike: Uncle Arthur?Wilson: Oh, what it is, Frank?Pike: Do you think I ought to phone mum and tell her you're holding a bomb?Wilson: No!Pike: But she might get cross if she found out that you'd been holding a bomb and she wasn't told about it.

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The Best of British Comedy Dad’s Army

The Best Scenes, Jokes and One-Liners

Richard Webber


Table of Contents

Cover Page

Title Page

‘BRANDED’

‘SONS OF THE SEA’

‘SERGEANT – SAVE MY BOY!’

‘PUT THAT LIGHT OUT!’

‘THE TWO AND A HALF FEATHERS’

‘MUM’S ARMY’

‘UNINVITED GUESTS’

‘FALLEN IDOL’

CHRISTMAS SPECIAL: ‘BATTLE OF THE GIANTS’

‘KEEP YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL’

‘A SOLDIER’S FAREWELL’

‘GETTING THE BIRD’

‘THE DESPERATE DRIVE OF CORPORAL JONES’

‘ALL IS SAFELY GATHERED IN’

‘WHEN DID YOU LAST SEE YOUR MONEY?’

‘BRAIN VERSUS BRAWN’

‘A BRUSH WITH THE LAW’

‘ROUND AND ROUND WENT THE GREAT BIG WHEEL’

‘TIME ON MY HANDS’

‘THE DEADLY ATTACHMENT’

‘THE ROYAL TRAIN’

‘WE KNOW OUR ONIONS’

‘THE HONOURABLE MAN’

‘THINGS THAT GO BUMP IN THE NIGHT’

‘THE RECRUIT’

‘A MAN OF ACTION’

‘GORILLA WARFARE’

‘THE GODIVA AFFAIR’

‘THE CAPTAIN’S CAR’

‘TURKEY DINNER’

‘RING DEM BELLS’

‘WHEN YOU’VE GOT TO GO’

‘IS THERE HONEY STILL FOR TEA?’

‘THE FACE ON THE POSTER’

‘WAKE-UP WALMINGTON’

‘THE MAKING OF PRIVATE PIKE’

‘THE MISER’S HOARD’

‘NEVER TOO OLD’

TEST YOUR KNOWLEDGE

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

About the Author

In the same series:

Copyright

About The Publisher

In the annals of British television, no finer example of classic comedy exists than in the shape of Dad’s Army, the Home Guard-based sitcom written by veteran writers Jimmy Perry and David Croft. Although they penned many other sterling programmes, including Hi-De-Hi! and the underrated You Rang, M’Lord?, they’ll forever be remembered for their brilliant wartime comedy spotlighting the antics of the Walmington-on-Sea Home Guard, led by the irascible and pompous Captain Mainwaring.

Between 1968 and 1977, nine series and three Christmas Specials – totalling 80 instalments – were screened, much to the delight of the millions of fans who tuned in; but the show’s popularity has continued unabated and even today, four decades since the platoon marched onto the scene, it remains one of the golden offerings from the sitcom genre.

Unlike most situation comedies which highlight one or two key characters,Dad’s Army was team comedy of the highest order. Although much of the focus concentrated on the relationships between Mainwaring and Wilson (adroitly played by Arthur Lowe and John Le Mesurier respectively) within Swallow Bank during the day and the coastal town’s Home Guard by night, the disparate bunch of individuals making up the bravehearted platoon was equally valuable to the overall success of the show. Who can forget Corporal ‘Don’t Panic!’ Jones; the mollycoddled Private Pike; Frazer, the doom-and-gloom merchant; Walker, the kindhearted spiv and doddery old Private Godfrey, who was forever nipping off to spend a penny, much to Mainwaring’s chagrin. And let’s not forget the sniping Mr Yeatman, the huffy Vicar and, of course, loud-mouthed Warden Hodges.

Within this celebration of Dad’s Army, I’ve selected some of the best scenes from the series. Of course, the selection process is subjective and I could have included hundreds more

‘I’m afraid I must have dozed off for a minute.’ (Godfrey)

snatches of dialogue to highlight just how good the series was. Much of the humour in Croft and Perry’s sitcom emanates from the actors’ performances, how they bring the scripts alive and the interaction in front of the cameras; but the following scenes – which were taken directly from the scripts and, therefore, may differ slightly from the screened version – are fitting examples from arguably Britain’s best sitcom – well, in my eyes anyway.

As well as script extracts, this book contains lots of goodies for Dad’s Army fans, including the story behind the programme’s success, a collection of fascinating facts regarding the show, memories from those who worked on the project and much, much more. Happy reading!

RICHARD WEBBER

While travelling by train to the East London suburb of Stratford East, actor-turned-scriptwriter Jimmy Perry dreamt up an idea that would not only alter the course of his career but provide the rest of us with something rather special.

At the time, Perry was treading the boards at Stratford East’s Theatre Royal, working for stage director Joan Littlewood; but for some time he’d harboured dreams of writing for television, despite having only written for pantomimes and comedy sketches. Although he’d never penned material for the small screen, he was driven by the desire to write something in order to create a significant part for himself.

On his daily commutes across London, he began formulating a premise. Realising it would be judicious to write about something he’d experienced and understood, and backed by the knowledge that service-based comedies like



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