Only Fools and Horses

Only Fools and Horses
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The best jokes, gags and scenes from a true British comedy classic.Del: You were gun running during the Spanish Civil War?Grandad: Well…that was the best time to do it!‘A man like you needs something to reflect your image - I've got a lovely Skoda in the forecourt.'Boycie (…trying to sell a used car to Del)In the history of British comedy classics, there is no better example than the hugely popular and critically-acclaimed Only Fools and Horses. Set in Peckham, inner London, it chronicles the adventures and exploits of ambitious market trader Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter, his gormless younger brother Rodney, and a host of other unusual misfit characters, in their attempts to get rich selling anything and everything to anyone who'll buy it.Written and created by comic genius John Sullivan, the classic British sitcom had an incredible cast, including, most notably, legendary actor Sir David Jason.Between 1981 and 1991 seven series of the show were broadcast in the UK, with sporadic Christmas specials until 2003. Even now it remains the most-watched British sitcom of all time, holding the record for the highest UK audience for a sitcom episode for the 1996 special 'Time On Our Hands'.The Best of British Comedy - Only Fools and Horses includes:• The History: an overview of how Only Fools and Horses was born and developed• Gags and Catchphrases: a collection of classic quotes• Did You Know?: snippets of info about the show, cast, etc.• Favourite scenes: the most memorable scenes in full• An OFAH quiz'I'm depressed because of the state of my life at the moment. I've got this 'orrible feeling that if there is such a thing as reincarnation, knowing my luck, I'll come back as me!'Rodney'I heard a rumour that Mickey Mouse wears a Rodney Trotter wristwatch.'Boycie

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HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd.

1 London Bridge Street

London SE1 9GF

www.harpercollins.co.uk

First published by HarperCollinsPublishers 2009

Scripts © John Sullivan 2009

Text copyright © Richard Webber Ltd 2009

A catalogue record of this book is available from the British Library

Richard Webber asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this ebook on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins ebooks

HarperCollinsPublishers has made every reasonable effort to ensure that any picture content and written content in this ebook has been included or removed in accordance with the contractual and technological constraints in operation at the time of publication

Source ISBN: 9780007318964

Ebook Edition © MAY 2017 ISBN: 9780007483433

Version: 2017-05-26

EPISODE LIST

Series One

3. ‘Cash and Curry’ (22/9/81)

5. ‘A Slow Bus To Chingford’ (6/10/81)

6. ‘The Russians Are Coming’ (13/10/81)

Christmas Special

‘Christmas Crackers’ (28/12/81)

Series Two

1. ‘The Long Legs Of The Law’ (21/10/82)

2. ‘Ashes To Ashes’ (28/10/82)

3. ‘A Losing Streak’ (4/11/82)

4. ‘No Greater Love …’ (11/11/82)

5. ‘The Yellow Peril’ (18/11/82)

6. ‘It Never Rains …’ (25/11/82)

7. ‘A Touch Of Glass’ (2/12/82)

Christmas Special

‘The Funny Side Of Christmas: Christmas Trees’ (27/12/82)

Christmas Special

‘Diamonds Are For Heather’ (30/12/82)

Series Three

1. ‘Homesick’ (10/11/83)

2. ‘Healthy Competition’ (17/11/83)

3. ‘Friday The 14th’ (24/11/83)

4. ‘Yesterday Never Comes’ (1/12/83)

5. ‘May The Force Be With You’ (8/12/83)

6. ‘Wanted’ (15/12/83)

7. ‘Who’s A Pretty Boy?’ (22/12/83)

Christmas Special

‘Thicker Than Water’ (25/12/83)

Series Four

1. ‘Happy Returns’ (21/2/85)

2. ‘Strained Relations’ (28/2/85)

3. ‘Hole In One’ (7/3/85)

4. ‘It’s Only Rock And Roll’ (14/3/85)

5. ‘Sleeping Dogs Lie’ (21/3/85)

6. ‘Watching The Girls Go By’ (28/3/85)

7. ‘As One Door Closes’ (4/4/85)

Christmas Special

‘To Hull And Back’ (25/12/85)

Series Five

1. ‘From Prussia With Love’ (31/8/86)

2. ‘The Miracle Of Peckham’ (7/9/86)

3. ‘The Longest Night’ (14/9/86)

4. ‘Tea For Three’ (21/9/86)

5. ‘Video Nasty’ (28/9/86)

6. ‘Who Wants To Be A Millionaire’ (5/10/86)

Christmas Special

‘A Royal Flush’ (25/12/86)

Christmas Special

‘The Frog’s Legacy’ (25/12/87)

Christmas Special

‘Dates’ (25/12/88)

Series Six

1. ‘Yuppy Love’ (8/1/89)

2. ‘Danger UXD’ (15/1/89)

3. ‘Chain Gang’ (22/1/89)

4. ‘The Unlucky Winner Is …’ (29/1/89)

5. ‘Sickness and Wealth’ (5/2/89)

6. ‘Little Problems’ (12/2/89)

Christmas Special

‘The Jolly Boys’ Outing’ (25/12/89)

Christmas Special

‘Rodney Come Home’ (25/12/90)

Series Seven

1. ‘The Sky’s The Limit’ (30/12/90)

2. ‘The Chance Of A Lunchtime’ (6/1/91)

3. ‘Stage Fright’ (13/1/91)

4. ‘The Class Of ’62’ (20/1/91)

5. ‘He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Uncle’ (27/1/91)

6. ‘Three Men, A Woman And A Baby’ (3/2/91)

Christmas Special

1. ‘Miami Twice – Part One: The American Dream’ (24/12/91)

2. ‘Miami Twice – Part Two: Oh To Be In England’ (25/12/91)

Christmas Special

‘Mother Nature’s Son’ (25/12/92)

Christmas Special

‘Fatal Extraction’ (25/12/93)

Christmas Trilogy

1. ‘Heroes And Villains’ (25/12/96)

2. ‘Modern Men’ (27/12/96)

3. ‘Time On Our Hands’ (29/12/96)

Comic Relief Special

(14/3/97)

Christmas Special

‘If They Could See Us Now …!’ (25/12/01)

Christmas Special

‘Strangers On The Shore’ (25/12/02)

Christmas Special

‘Sleepless In Peckham’ (25/12/03)

Keep Reading

Acknowledgements

About the Author

Other Books By

About the Publisher

Not many sitcoms succeed in ingraining themselves into the British psyche, but Only Fools and Horses, written by the unassuming John Sullivan, whose other success stories include Just Good Friends, Citizen Smith, Dear John and, of course, Green, Green, Grass, did just that.

During its 23-year run, 64 episodes were shown, with the lion’s share attracting sizeable audience figures. Topping the list, ‘Time On Our Hands’, the final instalment in 1996’s Christmas Trilogy, pulled in a whopping 24.3 million viewers.

‘CREME DE LA MENTHE.’ (DEL)

As always, many factors lay behind the show’s indubitable success, including John Sullivan’s ability to evince a sense of realism into the scripts, confidently blending seriousness with the comedy oozing from every episode. Undoubtedly,



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